I named Link Dave

We’ll see what happens

When  I was like 10 years old, my dad decided that it was high time for me to learn geography.  So we went to Staples and bought me one of those giant wallmaps that you see in action movies that the bad guys have to plan out their plan of attack.

However, upon hanging up this map, my dad told me to identify Israel, which I could do because I had gone to Jew School for 4ish years at that point, at a Jew Preschool too. That’s not important but I could find Israel

so I’m looking for Israel, and I couldn’t find it, the mapmakers left Israel off the map, it being a tiny ass country and politically problematic, many countries don’t bother recognizing it as an independent state

so my dad decided to return the map and get a new map that has Israel on it, because we NEEDED a map with Israel on it

We went to Staples and returned the map, to which the person asked if the map was defective.  I’m thinking how the fuck do you make a sheet of paper that’s laminated defective, but I was 10 years old so I probably thought something without the word fuck, but anyways we returned the map to the Staples slave

that’s not the end of the story though

My dad had me write a HAND-FUCKING-WRITTEN letter to the map printing company, explaining to them that this map was unacceptable

However, my 10 year old brain could not comprehend why Israel was left off, and I barely understood the conflict in Israel.  So I wrote some BS and my dad decided that it wasn’t acceptable, so he wrote his own letter to the company

and then they actually sent him a reply, and then a month later we got a map back that had Israel on it. Only they labelled it as Palestine

so here’s round two, my dad wrote another letter to this map company, explaining that it hasn’t been Palestine for 50 some years, and its Israel.  he mailed the map back and claimed something about never buying a map from them again

and I mean, how often do you buy maps anyways, so it was a dumb threat

so a month later again we get another map in the mail, this one labeling it as Israel, and my dad was satisfied that he had a victory over this map making company

and he hung the map in my room, and every night for a month I had geography quizzes, so I could learn the world

then after a month he got bored of it because I could identify all the countries. So he decided to get me some markers and I could draw on the map

it was laminated so I could clean it off, I drew on all the major shipping routes on it for an assignment in 5th grade, I turned it into my teacher who thought it was amazing and they hung it up in the school library, which its probably still there

and my dad got angry at me because we spent three months on getting that dumb map and the school never gave it back to me.  But he quickly forgot about that.

This is actually a pretty dumb story in retrospect, I’m sorry for wasting your time

chivalrousgambler asked: You: Bolin. Me: Mako, Rune: Korra, Latte: Asami. Hell Fucking Yes.

HELL

FUCKING 

YES

Anonymous asked: Have you tried different lettuces? Or just iceberg? Because iceberg lettuce really is terrible.

Does spinach count as a lettuce because I like spinach

Anonymous asked: you said no lettuce twice. so, is that like a double negative, meaning you DO want lettuce, or do you just really hate lettuce?

Lettuce is the plant of the devil

My great grandpappy 4 times removed (due to a faulty divorce) was killed by a rogue piece of lettuce. 

It’s also tasteless and made of the tears of children

Anonymous asked: so what you're saying is you think she'd be better off with no pants

She’d probably be less angry without pants on

pants are a known and documented stressor.  People who don’t wear pants have been SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN to be happier

That or Rune would explode 

One or the other